After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
