Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I love you.
Bad choice
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
