in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
