Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
