so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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