she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
