I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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