I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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