the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
