So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize