i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
