trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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