Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize