toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
