i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
