Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
