I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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