you guys were way drunker than both of me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize