Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
