I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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