That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
