At least make sure they are 18
Why
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
