Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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