I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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