I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
