yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
