I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
