You just made me feel so damn special
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
