he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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