remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
