32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
