Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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