if only i could text you this smell
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize