But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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