ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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