hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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