You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
