It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
