clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
