Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
