She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
