apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
