i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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