I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
