Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
