ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
