dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
