I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
