He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
