i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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