What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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