know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
