no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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