Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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