you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
