I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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