You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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