dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
