i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
