By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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