Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize