you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
