In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
