we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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