just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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