One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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